Meaningful work is fulfilling. It gives us the chance to contribute to society. To support our family. To engage our intellect. To participate in the give and take of business and commerce and production that has helped make our country strong and free. Work is good. It teaches us to focus, to cooperate, to prioritize. We strive to give our children a good work ethic. We believe career advancement is a worthy goal. We are proud to do a hard day's work. We should be.

And that's why it's so hard to accept this brutal truth about caring for an elderly loved one while holding down a job outside the home: you may have to give up the idea of career advancement during the time you care for your mom or dad. Remember the "mommy track," that phenomenon so named in the 1980s that kept moms who raised their kids and worked outside the home from getting the plum jobs and advancing their careers? Well, as noted in the San Francisco Business Times (9/4/98), "Call it the daughter track, but the reality is that someone who is taking care of elderly parents at home rarely has the time to work long hours on the big projects that lead to career advancement."

Now, you can stew and fret and worry about this, but that won't change the brutal truth, which is that you most likely will have to give up the idea of career advancement during the years you care for your mom or dad. That those years often occur during the prime of your working life can be a bitter pill to swallow, but accept and swallow you must. Because the alternative is that you'll drive yourself to emotional distraction and physical exhaustion worrying about something that you can't change.

Try to find solace in the fact that caring for an elderly loved one is deeply essential work. It will be ultimately fulfilling, and it won't last forever. And when you're feeling frustrated by the price you're paying on the job, remind yourself of the value you're receiving at home. There are rewards, surface and deeper ones, for every job a person performs. The work with the highest calling, is the work that involves doing good for others. Teaching, caring for children, nursing the ill, caring for an elderly loved one.

Work is not just about the size of your paycheck. Work is about the size of your heart and your soul. Take comfort in the fact that though your paycheck may be smaller, when you sit or stand next to your mom or dad, your life becomes larger.