When his four kids were younger, Lance Wachholz would help fill plastic eggs for the annual Easter egg hunt with the customary candy and money. But he also filled some with notes that would help his kids be a blessing to others.
“One may read, ‘If you’re out to dinner one night and see a family you’d like to buy dinner for, you can and I’ll take care of it,’” says Lance, a Thrivent client from Loganville, Georgia. “Or if they saw a police officer or firefighter they wanted to treat to a cup of coffee or breakfast, we would make that happen.”
This not only empowered Lance’s kids to bless others financially but also to give intentionally to people they felt moved to help, whether that be other families or hometown heroes.
Generosity isn’t one-size-fits-all—it’s deeply personal. It reflects your unique values and beliefs, shaped by what matters most to you. It also depends on the resources you can share—your time, talents and finances—which often shift as life changes.
“It doesn’t have to look the same for each of us, and it shouldn’t,” says Tricia Brown, vice president of Membership at Thrivent. “We change, and our communities do as well. There are moments when we don’t feel as able to make significant financial gifts, so we give in bits and pieces … then there are times when money’s not the stressor, but time is.
“Change is all around us, within our lives and within the communities and organizations we care about. We should give ourselves the grace to be flexible with acts of kindness and care that meet both our evolving needs as well as those needs of our communities.”
In this busy world, cultivating a
Once you start giving, it can turn into a habit that you carry with you for the rest of your life. And, hopefully, it’s contagious.
Making generosity more accessible
Modeling and enabling generosity are characteristics Lance continued with his kids as they grew older. (They are now 40, 29, 26 and 24.) For example, in their teen years and early adulthood, he told them he’d match both their savings and giving, up to a certain amount.
“When you’re getting started, you’re often pinching every nickel, and it’s hard to have an attitude of giving and saving,” Lance says. “I wanted to help put them in a position where they can be cheerful givers. Once you start giving, it can turn into a habit that you carry with you for the rest of your life. And, hopefully, it’s contagious.”
Starting small
Generosity creates a ripple effect. That’s why it’s important to start small—both in terms of when your children are young and also in micro-actions you can take through the day, like speaking words of kindness.
“We need to teach, by both words and action, how to impart generosity in many different aspects of life,” says Michelle Clary, CEO and founder of Piton Wealth, an affiliate of the Thrivent Advisor Network. “It can be identifying someone who is experiencing heartache and stopping to listen or taking meals to someone in a tough spot.”
And bringing your children along is essential. “If we’re not taught from a young age to demonstrate generosity in the small things that are happenstance during the day, it will be challenging to reach the point of being generous as an adult,” Clary says.
Last year for his 60th birthday, instead of the original plan of doing a destination celebration with family and friends, Lance took his youngest son on a mission trip to Cambodia. A charity Lance supports is building schools and churches, and they wanted to experience firsthand the impact and work of this ministry.
“It’s amazing what they’ve accomplished, and it was a blessing to have my son there with me,” Lance says. “It’s life changing for him to see, and to witness how important giving to this ministry can be.”
Giving while living
It was Lance’s father, Paul Wachholz, who demonstrated generosity for Lance as a kid, instilling it as an integral part of his life. Paul was an entrepreneur from a young age, starting with a paper route at age 12. The son of a pastor, he learned about generosity from his father, and through the years shared his time, talents and treasures with many people.
Several years ago, Paul, who lives in Kalispell, Montana, began to strategically plan for how he would give back to the people and organizations he loves with the money he had earned from a successful career in banking and real estate.
He began a plan of giving to his children and grandchildren while still alive, including a letter of what it means to him to be able to do this. However, Paul also has been careful to not give too much. He says he doesn’t want to take away their opportunity to make their own way in the world.
Paul and Lance have had many conversations about what Paul wants his legacy to look like.
“One day as we talked about his will, I asked him why he wanted to wait until he died to share his money,” says Lance, one of Paul’s two children. “I encouraged him to give now when he could have some influence and see the impact. He ran with the idea.”
One of the steps Paul took was working with Clary and
Paul used his donor-advised fund to provide two gifts to help encourage youth to work hard, set big dreams and then seek to accomplish those dreams. One was an entrepreneurial center at Flathead Valley Community College. The second was to provide funds for the next stage of campus development at Stillwater Christian School, both in Kalispell.
“I’ve never done anything so gratifying as being a giver to these two schools,” Paul says. “This far outdoes anything I’ve ever accomplished. I’m so thankful I’m able to help people.”
Clary recalls Lance telling her that it takes no faith to leave money at your passing but that it takes a tremendous amount of faith to give your assets while you’re still alive.
“It’s easy when we just leave what we don’t need,” Clary says. “It’s a whole different measure of generosity and faith when you’re still here.”
Donna Hein is senior editor of Thrivent Magazine.
Building traditions
Annually for the past three years, Nancy Schlake of Beatrice, Nebraska, has led a
“They shop for the items they’d need if they were hungry,” Nancy says. “We turn it into a contest. Each team gets $100, and for bragging rights, we see which team can get the closest to the spending cap. One team got within six cents.” They also see which team can collect the most items.
Once, a store customer so moved by their activity gave the group $50 to donate to the food pantry. In 2023, they also helped put the food away at the food pantry.
Getting them together to make an impact is no easy feat, but they enjoy it. “There are so many teachable moments,” Nancy says. “And they have so much fun.”
Leading by example
From supporting local needs to mission work and campus ministries, Kimberly Spears, a Thrivent client in Atlanta, strives to make a difference—and includes her family and friends in the process.
“We have to ask ourselves how we, as individuals, can help with the problems we see around us,” Kimberly says. “I believe we are blessed to be a blessing to others. What can we do with the little we have to make a big impact?”
Kimberly loves to lead Thrivent Action Teams to help serve her community, and she regularly seeks new opportunities to do so. A few teams she’s led in partnership with a good friend have been tied to seasonal activities, such as back-to-school drives and packages for Christmas. “We invite our friends to bring their children along to help out, especially with creating cards and writing personal messages,” Kimberly says. “They are so happy to help, and we are helping inspire future generations.”
She also models a spirit of generosity to those in her life, young and old, in her regular support of global missions and involvement in campus ministry. Kimberly uses her
“Modeling generosity requires intentionality,” Kimberly says. “The easiest way is to do Thrivent Action Teams. But another important way is to take the time and have the conversation with younger generations. It’s important to take the time to build relationships, mentor and encourage them.”
How Thrivent can help
thrivent.com/habitat.
